"Mulder and Scully had a private party while their son was already asleep in his toddler bed. He looked at the empty champagne bottle while looking at his beloved wife and life long partner."

In a fit of violent altruism (OK, boredom) before dumping my spambox, sometimes I take the time to report the easy ones, especially the "foreign" email scams that want to send me huge Lottery winnings or to help some rich person move millions through my bank account.

These parasites ALWAYS include a valid email in the message body, so that I can contact them to give them my bank's routing numbers. I enjoy reporting these idiots to their webmail providers, and occasionally the sysadmins slip me a thank you note:

WINNING NOTIFICATION
Sun, Sep 10, 2006 at 7:52 AM
FROM:  abuse@walla.net.il
TO: camps@likeigiveafuck.com

Dear sir or madam,
Thank you for informing us of this matter.
This account is terminated.
Best Regards,
Guy Oren-Walla Abuse Team

If you'd like to join in the fun, do this:

1. Select "View header" or "View Source" or "View Original" from your email menu
2. Select and Copy the entire message with header
3. Hit FORWARD to open your email composing window and Paste that entire message into your email
4. Locate the contact email in the message body, for example: spammersname@webmail.com
5. Type "abuse@webmail.com" -- or whatever the webmail account was, such as Yahoo or Hotmail -- into the address field
6. Hit SEND

Normally, you never get a thank you note (criminal law legal reasons). But sometimes you do.

It's a little more complicated to report spammers to the ISPs or hosting server where they want you to buy penis enlargement drugs, but I do that sometimes, too.